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Unintentionally Amusing In Person


Friday, May 16, 2003  

Thoughts on the potential House/Baby/Divorce…

Things are a little odd ‘round these parts lately. There is some potential for changes/moves/whatever in the offing as a result of The Husband’s grandmother’s death, which is going to be weird and uncertain for a while. On the plus side, The Husband is sounding pretty sure that he wants to take some definite steps towards buying a house & having a baby within the next few years, which is really really good. The sneaky little pain around my heart when I play peek-a-boo with someone else’s bundle of joy doesn’t seem to care very much that my conscious mind also knows that there will be water-retention on an impressive scale, a number of other possibly-unpleasant pregnancy-induced side effects, poop and vomit to clean up, and a lifetime of difficulty and expense—because I also know that the messes and other unpleasant moments are only a tiny part of having children, and that lovely milky baby smell makes me fluttery inside…

On the other hand, a couple that we’re fairly close to just announced that they are moving into separate apartments, and, although the party line is currently “We’re fine, it’s just a space thing”, I’m not sure what to think about it. I guess we’ll see what comes of it—I know there will inevitably be breakups among our friends as we go along, and these things happen—heck, it’s already happened to me once, and I know of at least a half-dozen other late-twenties/early-thirties survivors of miscarried marriages/partnerships already…

I am thrown by the rapidity of the public separation, although, again, I know from personal experience that couples often don’t publicize their problems, and the disintegration only looks sudden from the outside, even though its been coming on for months or years inside the relationship (or at least in half of the relationship). I don’t want anyone to break up right now, because my marriage is still new, and I have the ridiculous superstition that the bad vibes will leak over somehow, and ultimately doom me to becoming a twice-divorced under-thirty—and that’s clearly absurd, because my own marriage is not in any trouble. (I don’t think an increased risk of premature heart failure due to gym-neglect counts, so we’re safe…)

posted by Kim | 11:27 AM |


Wednesday, May 14, 2003  

Plans and Ruminations

Well, we drove down to California for The Husband’s grandmother’s wake this weekend, and that went okay—as well as could be expected. I met a bunch of Pat’s old friends who raved to me about how adorable my husband was as a child (he visited Pat every summer for most of his childhood) and how much Pat loved him, which was nice to hear. But now there are all these questions to consider—The Husband’s aunt & uncle are considering legal action against the hospital because his grandmother suffered from two days of agony due to negligence and subsequent denial of wrongdoing, and the aunt really wants The Husband & I to move to Santa Cruz, and because of the way that the house is split up we would theoretically have a place to live rent-free down there, but that would ultimately involve a lot of effort and trouble that I’m not sure how I feel about going through in order to live rent-free in a tiny little studio-apartment of a cottage. But, on the other hand, living rent-free would be a major help in paying off our $50,000 (!!) in student loans and getting together the money to buy a house of our own someday…

Life keeps moving along, bringing all of these changes and considerations and concerns…

On the other hand, the movie scene has offered some truly fun escapism recently— X2 was a blast, and we have tickets to The Matrix Reloaded tomorrow evening…I’m just going to concentrate on having fun & living my life, and we’ll just see how all this stuff shakes out before we make any final decisions…

posted by Kim | 11:18 AM |
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